Be Vulnerable

One of the most crucial variables in being able to connect to the broadest range of people is your ability to allow yourself to become vulnerable to them while remaining secure. Although it's a lot easier said than done, learning to do so can also dramatically enhance your quality of life and the value of your contributions within it. Whether you're striving to be a great artist, a great friend/partner in a relationship, or just a significant human being in the lives of others, nothing touches people like "emotional nudity" (so to speak) simply because whether or not people possess the courage to acknowledge and express their true feelings, at the end of the day when the facade is over and people take off their "cool"... it's EVERYONE'S purest and most honest state of being.

The human experience is one of a wide spectrum of emotions. Some of which are shown freely (or "dressed" if you will) because societal norms have deemed them acceptable based on stereotypical factors such as age or gender. On the contrary, others are purposefully hidden by people because their exposure would leave them susceptible to critique and/or ridicule (i.e. crying is a "feminine" expression of emotion so boys are taught to suppress it). However, it's your ability to consistently remain poised in this state of vulnerability that allows you to rise above peoples attempts to debase you. A wise person once said, "If you're not being criticized it's probably because you aren't doing much." I couldn't agree more. Criticism to me, in it's non-constructive form, is merely a more polished and sophisticated form of jealousy in which people use the standard they themselves believe to be the objective measure of right vs. wrong or good vs. bad, to condemn something they personally disagree with or are incapable of doing themselves. Ironically this same form, if absorbed and processed with the proper perspective on the receiving end, can help elevate someone who is secure within their vulnerability to heights they would've otherwise never imagined.


Consider some of the great artist we know of. Both Van Gogh and Picasso are examples of phenomenal talents that have contributed some of the most celebrated and valued pieces of artwork in the world, even today. But what's perhaps even more amazing is the fact that during most of their lifetimes, the critics of that era considered their work valueless and insignificant. Now imagine for a second how different and possibly even trivial their work would be considered today if they had not remained vulnerable within their work and true to themselves and what they perceived as art and allowed those critics to reshape their approach towards art to fit the conventional mold of the time - would they be as distinguishable as they are now? Probably not. Even modern artist in his own right, comedian Dave Chappelle has opened up about being booed off stage early on in his career. Yet his commitment to being unafraid of the vulnerability that comes with being on stage while still maintaining the uniqueness he brought to his craft, has catapulted him into being one of the most successful comedians of our time with record breaking DVD sales of his hit show Chappelle Show. Kanye West is another example of a contemporary artist who's philosophies, behaviors, and creative strides in music, fashion and art have been heavily scrutinized. Yet his decision to remain vulnerable within his expressiveness and refusing to compromise his individuality has enabled him to transition from just another hip-hop artist with only so far to go, into an international pop icon/brand. Need I say more? I will though.

Think of everyone you've ever been close to or in love with. Now think of how you got from merely knowing them, to reaching that point. Regardless of the various details that chronicle the different stories that may apply to each individual relationship, the principal reason you reached that level of closeness is simple...you made yourself vulnerable to them. Whether it was trusting them with your innermost secrets, granting them access to your closest circle of friends and family, or sharing your body with them, essentially, the bond was created when you handed them the list containing all the "soft spots in your armor" and believed that instead of using it against you, they'd help you protect those spots (figuratively speaking). It's impossible to love someone wholeheartedly without you becoming vulnerable to them because that's the only way to build trust which is the foundation of ANY relationship. Although unfortunately vulnerability can cause some of the deepest pain you can ever feel and remaining emotionally guarded and aloof is the best way to avoid that, on the contrary, you'll never experience true companionship and intimacy without it. Love is a gamble...if you aren't willing to risk something, you might as well leave the casino with what you already have...the safety of loneliness and surface level relationships (I like speaking figuratively if you can't tell).

Most people may view vulnerability as the epitome of weakness but I view it as being your greatest strength. Just as fear produces focus when channeled properly, vulnerability produces confident assurance in the same manner.