In addition to being a writer, I also have sort of a seasonal gig that I fell into some time ago during my latter years of adolescence. For all intents and purposes, I guess you can look at it as "community service on a case by case basis." I still haven't figured out if it was my selflessness and eager will to help those in need that propelled me into volunteering my time and energy or if it was a subconscious assertion of my belief that I'm God's gift to women; either way, I've found myself strangely addicted to this job. Build-a-Broad is an organization that operates as a non-profit and as a staff member, you work as an independent representative.
The job description and it's requirements tend to vary based on each client's individual needs but the overall goal is straight-forward - we find a woman with a troublesome background who has issues with coping with their past hurts which effects their ability to socialize, personally develop/mature and date. Then we try to "save" them by romantically becoming a part of their lives and crucifying ourselves for the sake of their growth while receiving little or nothing in the way of substantial reciprocation for the emotional energy exerted (hence it being a non-profit).
As absurd as it may sound (and in fact is), like most jobs that people hate and yet remain employees of, as much as you may dread working there at times, there is a familiarity that tends to develop with time and it creates a comfort zone as well as an inclination on the part of the employee to believe that their job needs them (which almost always isn't the case); but it's that belief that traps you so much so that even if you leave that job, more than likely you'll find another one just like it - same shit, different location, different building and different name.
And so it is at Build-a-Broad, I find these women, I pour my heart and soul into them, get a few perks in return (sex...and maybe breakfast depending on performance), but ultimately no real replenishment or fulfillment and yet the part of me that feels like I'm doing these woman a "favor" is what causes me to finish with one of them, take time to recover (hence the job being seasonal) and then going to find another one just like the last - same shit, different age, different look and different name.
Perhaps the worst part about this job is that with some cases, you're so proud of the work you've done with the woman that you actually want to KEEP them but then it dawns on you how much energy was required of you to keep them functioning optimally and the thought of you never being able to rest and enjoy the relationship without them defaulting back to their old ways, forces you to release them. But then, there's always that mixture of envy and frustration that comes from the thought of them somehow tapping into what you've taught them and becoming self-sufficient after you let them go and then someone else finding them and being able to enjoy all the fruits of YOUR labor without any of their own blood, sweat or tears being required.
If you can't tell by now, everyone who works for Build-a-Broad has some serious psychological issues. One of the drawbacks of being a priggish intellectual is that sometimes you can think you're so smart that you end up tripping over your own thoughts and actions. And sometimes your ego keeps you in denial of the fact that you just tripped yourself and actually tells you that you MEANT to do that which causes you to trip yourself repeatedly. This type of perpetual self-dishonesty actually increases the chances of you falling flat on your face at which point you make a complete ass of yourself and it becomes a harshly humbling experience. With that being said, after recently doing just that with a case I was working with over at Build-a-Broad, I figured it would be best for me to fire myself - so I did. Now that I've freed myself from my self-imposed bondage and I now have such an extensive dating resume, all I have to do is find a wife.
Hopefully I can overcome the marital recession.
