For the Sake of Being "Different"

In an age and society where EVERYONE is overly obsessed with distinguishing themselves from others, how does one actually achieve that goal with any sort of validity? And considering that there's such a large number of people pursuing this goal, it ultimately results in sameness. The irony.

Within the context of art, it seems as though most people have forgotten the essence and perspective from which the concept of originality was birthed which was simply to offer an alternative take, expression, or approach on/of something that was once stuck in the norm of a particular era. Now it seems to have turned it into one's egocentric desire to feel like they're in "a league of their own" and that only an enlightened-few who live in the same ether can appreciate their divinely inspired ideas.

Granted, there are those rare individuals who indeed are exceptionally unique, innately, and contribute things to the world that are truly progressive and profoundly brilliant, but one could argue that for the extremely small percentage of those individuals that exist, it's highly doubtful that their primary concern is critical acclaim since they're more than likely too busy just trying to get people to understand them and relate to their vision.

The true genius that pioneers, innovators and progressive minds possess lies in their ability to be so rigorously dedicated and immersed in their crafts, ideas, and causes that they're somewhat disconnected from formal criteria, awards, and accolades. For them, it's so much about advancing, enhancing or re-inventing "that thing" that they are inextricably connected to that as they are achieving what their passion and heart has driven them to accomplish, the world begins to realize that its existing measure of what is considered to be the "epitome" of those achievements has been surpassed and needs to be re-evaluated and reconstructed to fit the new peak standard that the genius has set.

Even then, the genius continues to push limits and boundaries because they can't seem to physically manifest the visions they see mentally at a fast enough rate, all the while, still giving little attention to the fame and critiques that accompany the legacy they are building. But finally after an extended period - and sometimes a lifetime - of consistent output of stellar work, they either live just long enough for the world to "catch-up" and thank them (i.e. Michael Jackson) or they die before that opportunity presents itself and the appreciative-value of their work fully blossoms (i.e. Jean-Michel Basquiat). That's originality and genius in it's purest form.

Unfortunately, there are a plethora of individuals who I call "pseudo-originals." These are the people who attempt to appear apart from the masses by following a bogus set of guidelines they've subscribed to as a result of exposing themselves to various pop-culture media outlets and combining what they've absorbed so that they can reflect a new, manufactured-self back out into the world in a very conspicuous manner. They achieve this by making surface-level image and speech adjustments (that are devoid of any true understanding of the origins of that which they are imitating) to create a smorgasbord of tasteless and obnoxious proportions and WALLAH...they begin asserting their originality and will fight tooth-and-nail in its defense with no basis at all besides their empty, yet passionate, conviction.

It gets worse however, when you run into what I call the "pseudo-genius." This is the bold individual who has their sights set on the "avant garde" and will therefore make very extreme statements in all forms of self-expression because they are of the mind that "obscurity" and the "far-left-field" are places worth relishing in. Thus, creating an altogether different kind of eye and/or ear-sore of EPIC proportions.

Sure...we're all inspired by something. On some occasions people build on that foundation of inspiration and create something that's truly original - but by-in-large, most people don't. Every generation is blessed with a few geniuses that change the status-quo while the rest of society adjusts with the rippling effects of those changes. You're not going to like this but I'm still going to say it - IT'S OK TO NOT BE ORIGINAL OR BE A GENIUS. I know, I know...but it seems so cool right? Well the sooner you get over the need to achieve that, the more comfortable you'll become with yourself. I'm not saying no one should aspire to be great at something. I'm saying don't obsess over trying to be something that you're not naturally for the sake of being "different" and don't just aspire to do great things for the sake of "greatness." When you do that, you're no different than the "pseudo-original" and the "pseudo-genius" who are really just insecure posers who didn't get enough attention growing up.

Be-YOU-tiful.

February 14th

Ever notice how some people seem to love LOVE more than they love themselves? It's quite common. I guess the comfort of having someone else there who's life you can attach yourself to and who's world you can live in can help you escape all of the stress and turmoil of your own world. But is it really an escape or just a distraction? Unfortunately for he/she playing the "fugitive," (if you will) you can't live in someone else's world forever. Whether you like it or not and no matter how long you try to run from it by jumping from relationshit to relationshit (no those aren't typos), sooner or later you're going to have to face those things in your personal life that you've always tried to avoid confronting.

How do you best face those issues? By learning to love loving yourself. Attributing value to yourself is one of the best things you can do because once you believe within yourself that you are significant and that you deserve the best, you'll start carrying yourself like you are and expecting a higher standard of treatment. Thus, you'll be able to attract individuals with the capacity and qualifications to satisfy your new found criteria for eligibility to be in your company. This helps weed out the losers and usher in the more worthy candidates.

So with that said, if you don't have a Valentine this year, try being your own and stop whining and being a bitterly jaded "love-hater" because it only makes you look more pathetic. Maybe if you love yourself with enough fervor someone else may come along and be interested in seeing what the fuss is about. The little girl in the picture is on to something.

Build-A-Broad

In addition to being a writer, I also have sort of a seasonal gig that I fell into some time ago during my latter years of adolescence. For all intents and purposes, I guess you can look at it as "community service on a case by case basis." I still haven't figured out if it was my selflessness and eager will to help those in need that propelled me into volunteering my time and energy or if it was a subconscious assertion of my belief that I'm God's gift to women; either way, I've found myself strangely addicted to this job. Build-a-Broad is an organization that operates as a non-profit and as a staff member, you work as an independent representative.

The job description and it's requirements tend to vary based on each client's individual needs but the overall goal is straight-forward - we find a woman with a troublesome background who has issues with coping with their past hurts which effects their ability to socialize, personally develop/mature and date. Then we try to "save" them by romantically becoming a part of their lives and crucifying ourselves for the sake of their growth while receiving little or nothing in the way of substantial reciprocation for the emotional energy exerted (hence it being a non-profit).

As absurd as it may sound (and in fact is), like most jobs that people hate and yet remain employees of, as much as you may dread working there at times, there is a familiarity that tends to develop with time and it creates a comfort zone as well as an inclination on the part of the employee to believe that their job needs them (which almost always isn't the case); but it's that belief that traps you so much so that even if you leave that job, more than likely you'll find another one just like it - same shit, different location, different building and different name.

And so it is at Build-a-Broad, I find these women, I pour my heart and soul into them, get a few perks in return (sex...and maybe breakfast depending on performance), but ultimately no real replenishment or fulfillment and yet the part of me that feels like I'm doing these woman a "favor" is what causes me to finish with one of them, take time to recover (hence the job being seasonal) and then going to find another one just like the last - same shit, different age, different look and different name.

Perhaps the worst part about this job is that with some cases, you're so proud of the work you've done with the woman that you actually want to KEEP them but then it dawns on you how much energy was required of you to keep them functioning optimally and the thought of you never being able to rest and enjoy the relationship without them defaulting back to their old ways, forces you to release them. But then, there's always that mixture of envy and frustration that comes from the thought of them somehow tapping into what you've taught them and becoming self-sufficient after you let them go and then someone else finding them and being able to enjoy all the fruits of YOUR labor without any of their own blood, sweat or tears being required.

If you can't tell by now, everyone who works for Build-a-Broad has some serious psychological issues. One of the drawbacks of being a priggish intellectual is that sometimes you can think you're so smart that you end up tripping over your own thoughts and actions. And sometimes your ego keeps you in denial of the fact that you just tripped yourself and actually tells you that you MEANT to do that which causes you to trip yourself repeatedly. This type of perpetual self-dishonesty actually increases the chances of you falling flat on your face at which point you make a complete ass of yourself and it becomes a harshly humbling experience. With that being said, after recently doing just that with a case I was working with over at Build-a-Broad, I figured it would be best for me to fire myself - so I did. Now that I've freed myself from my self-imposed bondage and I now have such an extensive dating resume, all I have to do is find a wife.

Hopefully I can overcome the marital recession.

2010?

Resolutions? Nah not really. More like "rollover goals" from last year. A part of me wishes I shared the same optimism that the rest of world seemingly possesses right now and that I like to call "The New Years High." You look around and see all of these sensational sounding Facebook status' and tweets that declare how much everyone is going to thrive like never before. However, like all things that go up...you know gravity gets down (how bout that pun?). Having lived for 22.5 years, I've come to realize that this "high" usually comes back down after tax season. With that being said though, I hate to sound like the miserably jaded, self-loathing writer too so I guess I'll add that what you confess and believe actually does have the power to change your reality.

I don't know man. It's like I came into this year sober and in God's house on my knees in prayer hoping that it would somehow be a symbolic tone-setter for the remainder of the year but for some odd reason, unlike those who brought in 2010 with their head in a toilet bowl, dancing with a sweaty stranger, taking a hit of some good weed or making out with whoever was in grabbing distance and still manages to be feeling exuberant about the coming year...I feel lost and confused. Maybe I'm just having my quarter-life crisis and my failure to cope with life's uncertainties is getting the best of me. Whatever the case may be, since I'm still here the least I can do is make my space and time account for something this year right? To dream or not to dream? That is the question.